Photos Jan 22-28

Photos Jan 15-21

I stole the cow.  I don't remember where from else I would totally give credit where credit is due. But it does feel appropriate right now.  The end.

Life interrupted...

I went to Costa Vida today for lunch.  I had left over "birthday money" just dying to be spent on something that wouldn't last.  And my sweet pork salad did not last that long, but it was oh so tasty.  Anyway, not the point.

I was in line right behind a couple.  They were probably in their late 40s early 50s or so.  The husband was a rather large man and his T-shirt said "Old Men Rock".  He had a headset on that was attached to his phone.  He was talking rather loudly to someone explaining something or other.  Not a big deal but it did draw my attention.  It took him a long time to order because he was still talking to the other party, so the line was held up a bit.  Still no big deal, I was in no hurry.  I eventually got my salad and sat down to enjoy its goodness and reflect on life a bit.

Well, turns out that the couple sat at the table just across from me.  The husband was still talking rather loudly on the phone.  Since I like to people watch, I did just that.  And since I was in no hurry, I took my time.  He was on the phone the entire meal.  I finished my salad and he was still talking.  It still wouldn't have been a big deal, but I'm pretty sure that his wife was a bit annoyed.  And as I thought about it I realized that I hadn't heard a single word from her the entire time.  I wanted to reach out to her and say "aren't you glad you took the time to have lunch with your husband!" since she was clearly being neglected.  She sat in silence and ate her  meal with only a small resentful glance now and then towards her dearly beloved.  A glance that seemed to say she didn't enjoy it but was not surprised that it was happening.  She then cleaned up the table and put a lid on his meal so he could take it home as he was still talking.  I had long ago realized that this phone call wasn't a business deal or something hugely important that couldn't be delayed by 15 minutes or so to enjoy lunch with his wife.  They eventually got up and went out the door, him still talking.

It got me thinking about how "connected" we can become.  And it got me thinking about how being so "connected" can really get in the way of the most important connections of all.  Husband, wife, children,  friends, relatives, God.  There are so many gadgets available to make sure that we don't miss any new bit of information that we almost lose the ability to prioritize and filter things out of our lives.  The things that are of no worth.  The things that interrupt the very real and tangible connecting factors in our lives for a bit of information on the web.  The things that are so convenient and easy to use that a lunch together turned into a husband talking on the phone while the wife sat in silence.

Being one of the few non-IPhone, smart phone, etc. owners, I have become increasingly aware how much it interrupts life.  Not because I don't have one, but because everyone else does.  I am constantly amazed at how much "information" is being looked up in the middle of a conversation.  At the dinner table. During a movie.  During a date.  During church, work, school, you name it.  Information is available at the tips of our fingers 24/7. 

While there is value to having such information close at hand, does that mean that every question must be instantly answered whether it is important or not?  Will the world stop spinning if the answer to "who was that guy in that one Kevin Bacon movie" isn't immediately found?  Is it possible to wait till at least the main entree is eaten before diving in to find such important and useful information?  Besides that fact that nothing says "I love you" like "what was it your were saying dear, I was looking up the latest election results?  Oh hold that thought, New Hampshire has just begun."

My husband sometimes asks me if I feel "left out" because I don't have an IPhone.  Occasionally I wonder if I really am missing out on something. And then I look around on the bus, in the halls of campus, in my own living room at times, and see the masses of people walking/sitting around all involved with their phones, ear buds in place and eyes on their screens.  Masses of people crammed together and not talking to each other.  Nope, I don't feel left out at all.

Besides.  I have a computer that I sit at all day that does all of that and more!  And it has a bigger screen so I don't have to squint.  And it has the coolest programs on it.  Especially the new version of Photoshop and... "what was that dear? ....but I'm blogging.... well hold a towel on it and try not to get blood on my carpet. I'll be up as soon as I finish this post." 

It's not the technology that's bad my friends, it's when and how you choose to use it.

Searching

I find myself searching these days.  Searching to solutions for storage problems.  Searching for ways to feel just a little bit better, be healthier.  Searching for inspiration, creativity, words of wisdom.  Searching for a better way to live the life that I have.  Searching for answers to questions that I haven't even asked yet.  That I don't even know to ask yet.

As the time draws closer for our little guy to arrive (4 weeks my friends!... give or take), I find myself more nervous.  I wonder if I am prepared.  I wonder if there is even a way to be prepared.  I wonder what he'll look like, if my mothering instincts will kick in.  I wonder if my depression will come back.  I wonder if I'll have the strength to deal with it, whatever "it" is.

I want so very much to enjoy this time of my life.  To enjoy every minute of the little life that will be joining our house soon.  I plan to.  But can you really plan for the unknown?  What if he's colicky?  What if he never sleeps?  What if I never sleep?  What if he has other health problems?  I declined having the tests done to check for any genetic defaults/problems.  At the time I felt certain that it was unnecessary.  I didn't want the stress of worrying about it especially since there are so many false alarms and expensive "further testing" that come with genetic testing.  I'm not really worried about it.  I think I just get overly hormonal at times and get all crazy over nothing.  It seems to be happening more and more.

So I search.  I keep adding more blogs to my google reader account.  Blogs about do it yourself projects, about living life in the moment, about home storage, resourcefulness, and cleaning tips.  Searching.  Still not sure what I'm searching for.

Perhaps in all of this infertility and pregnancy madness that has had most of my attention these last 3,4,5 years, I've lost a bit of myself.  Maybe that's what I'm searching for.  That part that I have lost somewhere on this journey.  The part that I haven't noticed has even been gone.  Huh. I wonder if there's a blog about that.

Photos Jan 8-14

A little work. A little play.  Some things that still need to be put away. Here's to another week my friends. May your Monday be spectacular!

A New Phase

I've run head on into a new phase of pregnancy and I'm not sure how I feel about it.  Well, that's not altogether true.  I am pretty sure how I feel about it and it's not so cheery.

1.  I can't sleep.  I am exhausted but can't seem to actually sleep at night.  During the day when I'm supposed to be doing things I could fall asleep at the drop of the hat.  But when the lights go out at night something seems to happen.  I can't get comfortable.  My hips hurt.  I roll over every 15 minutes trying to find new comfort in old places.  And then I have strange dreams filled with pixies and facebook tallys and convicts.  I can't sleep on my stomach for obvious reasons and when I'm on my back for more that 2.5 seconds I start to lose circulation to the lower half of my body.  I fear I may have to face the facts and start my night out in the embrace of the over-stuffed recliner rather than my husband.

2.  What's up with my ankles.  Seriously.  Where did they go?  I used to have lovely ankles.  Shapely ankles.  Ankles I could be proud of. These aren't even cankles, they're more like thighnkles.  The loosest of socks leave deep imprints and the tops of my feet seem to move of their own accord.  I'm just glad this has been a mild winter because I don't have to make shoes fit, I can still get away with sandles.

3.  I don't really know my size.  I run into people who go "Whoa! What happened to you in the last week?! You doubled in size!"  And others who say "You're due when? But you're so tiny!"  For the record, I in no way shape or form feel "tiny".  I feel huge.  I feel the pressure of my belly even in times of relaxation.  I am amazed that it's possible (and inevitable) that I'll get bigger than I am.  My husband says it feels like I've literally swallowed a basketball.  I'm going more for watermelon... a big one. My pregnant belly has made my oversized and unwanted "jugs" look small.  I'm not sure where I am, but I'm pretty sure it's not tiny.

4.  Pajama bottoms have become my best friend.  In fact as soon as I hit the door to the house I change back into my pajama bottoms.  They are big.  Big and soft and comfy.  They don't put undue pressure anywhere.  If I could wear them to work I would.  If I could wear them to church I would.  At least I get my house.

5.  The baby no longer "flutters".  Fluttering in my belly has been gone for awhile.  No movements are small movements.  They are big and seemingly violent.  My belly moves all the time when he's awake.  I can not believe that I have never noticed this in pregnant women before.  Of course I never made it a habit to stare at anyone's stomach, but still.  If anyone were to pay attention they would see my little bambino trying to break free all. the. time.  It kind of makes me laugh... while I'm trying to make myself taller so his feet won't be so very much in my ribs.

So here I am.  In the last stages of pregnancy.  That blessed time that occurs so that no matter what I have to go through I do it just to get this child out!  There are definite things I look forward to.  Like eating food and not getting sick and saying goodbye to heartburn.  I can't wait to lay on my belly.  I know that sleep deprivation is really just beginning and I know not of what I speak since my child is still inside.  But still.

I look forward to seeing what my little guy looks like.  To holding his wiggly body in my arms instead of in my belly.  To putting all of these cute little outfits and blankets to use. To seeing what kind of person my little guy will be.  I'm excited, and scared, but mostly excited.

Photos January 1-7

So one of my goals is to take more pictures.  Hopefully I'll actually post them!  So far so good right!

One more thing!

I almost forgot this little tidbit that I absolutely LOVE.  It's kind of silly for some but I don't care. My stairs.  I have battled the stairs for some time.  Not the going up and down, but the keeping them clean.  Especially that lovely white part that gets the scuff of the shoes and does not want to come off.  In fact, I got out the cleanser and tried my best to get the ugly black marks to come off only to find that the paint was coming off before the black marks would... which brings me to another thing.  Apparently the guy who flipped our house used the cheapest stuff possible, as evidenced by the fact that whenever I try to wipe a scuff mark off the wall the paint comes with it.  Grrr.  So the only solution is to repaint the entire house.  Needless to say that isn't happening any time soon.  But happen it will... happen it will.

Okay, back to the stairs.  I wanted carpet, but just on the white part.  I don't like to vacuum carpeted stairs and the wear and tear is just too much.  I just wanted some carpet squares that could be glued on to the "up" part of the stair.  When I explained what I wanted to both Lowe's and Home Depot they looked at me like I had two heads and said the only way it could be done was to buy carpet by the yard and staple the edges under so it wouldn't fray and even then the wear and tear would probably be too much and I'd be better off carpeting the entire stair case.  Well, I showed them!  David and I bought two packages of carpet "steps" which only cover half the space, hence the two packages.  David did the measuring and a little trimming on the top and I did the gluing.  They were already backed on a heavy duty something or other so no fraying! I really quite liked the way it turned out, no yardage of expensive carpet or staples.  In fact I think it cost us right around $18.00 to do 13 stairs.  And honestly, is there that much wear on the "up" part of your stairs?

Some things I've done

I told you there was more to wrapping things up.  Mostly because such efforts on my part should be known! Not because they are spectacular per se, but more because I actually got off my hind end and did something!

For this, I was really tired of having mail all over the place.  I knew that I wanted something on the wall but everything was either too office-y looking or just too expensive.  So I found this beauty at the DI and added a few touches.  Now it keeps my mail organized... or at least off the kitchen counter.

I've wanted shelves in the living room for awhile, but again, expense. I also wanted a magazine holder. Not just anything though.  My grandma Robbins had one that my mother now has and I have always loved it. Mostly the memories and the nicks and scratches that just said Grandma.  However my mother absolutely would not part with it.  So I found this at the DI and snatched it up.  It's the same style, just needed some love.  And the shelf is self explanatory.  Didn't get a before of the small one, but here's the finished products on all.

I really like the way the magazine holder turned out.  I like the streaks with the black underneath.

And the grand finale.  Our upstairs bathroom has largely driven me crazy with it's 70/80s style everything.  So little by little we've been updating.  New toilet, new cast iron bathtub with cultured marble finishing (the old one was hideous and kind of gave me the creeps. Perhaps it was the cigarette stain on the tub that would not come off) and finally the updating of the mirror/shelves.  I knew what I wanted as far as shelving to replace the hideous sliding cupboard attached to the mirror but could not find anything.  Until Target that is. 

David and I found the shelves at Target and the mirror at Tai Pan. So for a grand total of $50.00 we completely updated our look!  And I love it.  Now to replace the cabinets and the faucet.  But that's a ways off.

Please notice the plastic icky looking sliding doors. 

That's it for this installment.  I would like to give a special shout out to Sharon who has no idea that she taught me how to look at thrift store stuff through a can of spray paint! My life may be changed forever!

Wrapping Up

Moderation.

That was my word for 2011 and I loved it.  I made quite a few changes in my life with the promptings and promises of this word.  I dropped to part-time in my job.  I looked at my life more realistically.  I actually said "no" to some things.  But mostly I learned to let go of others. 

Moderation has taught me to take a good long look at some of my "must dos" and realize that there's a lot of stuff out there that simply is not worth the hassle.  Of course this lesson came on full force with the level of sickness that I experienced during that wonderful 1st trimester and then some of pregnancy.  I stopped doing things and the world did not come to an end.

It also taught me to be more moderate in my thinking about myself and others.  Perfection, though worth striving for, is not the end all be all.  In fact, I'm not sure that most of our definitions of perfection are actually correct.  Like art, beauty/perfection is in the eye of the beholder.  Could it be possible that we perceive perfection where it doesn't exist? Like in other people's homes or family lives?  Or even how other's think of themselves?

One of the most pertinent lessons I've been taught this year is that how I see things isn't always how they are.  In fact just recently I found out how very very wrong my perception was concerning a dear friend of mine.  It's a mistake I hope to not make again.

All in all it was a good year.  I have learned, I have grown, and I have become a slightly better person in some aspects and there's a whole lot more to go before this ride we call life is over.  I am looking very much forward to this coming year and what it has in store.

I do have a few more wrap up things but they will be in another post. So until next time, enjoy this unseasonably warm weather!  Is it January or March?!

Out with the old, In with the new.

I'm excited about this year.

There are so many built in changes right on the horizon. The most exciting/trying/unknown being the coming of our new little addition.  The one that is "scheduled" for February 16th but will really come right when he is good and ready to come. 

As I've been thinking about some of the challenges that our little guy will present us with, it's led me to want to change things even more.  I want to be more resourceful and more simple at the same time.  I don't want to spend time on things that aren't going to get me what I want, or really the peace and happiness that I am striving for.  I don't want to waste my time on things that are of no worth while neglecting the things that are.

Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.

So my "goal" for 2012 is to be Simple and Resourceful.

I want to be able to provide for my family on a shoe string budget.  I want to make my house a home with my own talents and scavengering skills.  I want to spend less and get more from it.  I want less stuff in my house and more enjoyment from what I do have.  Simple and resourceful.

Along with that comes some more defineable goals.  I want to take pictures more often.  I want to write more often.  I want to reflect and re-evaluate more often.  It may be a lot to hope for but since it's my goal then I have license to get rid of it!  Such power right!

So out with the old and in with the new!