Friday, October 25, 2013

Gratitude Lately

New Years Day 2013

My word of the year was chosen and it was Gratitude.  I wrote about it here. It felt right.  It felt like something that I needed to do.  But lately I have completely neglected it.  The entire month of September is missing and half of October.  You can find my list here.  I just updated it from my journal.  The one that I used to write in daily.  The one that I recorded my thoughts and feelings in.  The one that helped me take stock of the day and find the gratitude.

I stopped writing there as well.  No lists.  No reviewing of the day.  Just blank space.

I had not updated my online list since June.  So today with a little bit of free time on my hands, I got it done.  As I reviewed my paper list and transferred it to digital, I saw the whole Summer pass by.  Some of what I wrote surprised me.  I was also surprised by some things that were missing, things that I thought for sure would have made it on the list.  Particularly my Dad's birthday.  On that day I wrote that I was thankful for my home and my bed.  

This year of gratitude has brought so much more than anticipated.  Events have transpired that have helped me see so many things clearly.  Have helped me become more aware of what is important.  Though I do like my home and my bed and am thankful for both, I'm ever so much more thankful for the people that are in my life.

What I wish I had done with my list was be more specific.  Rather than reference the vague "someone" who helped me or said something or did something, I wish I had called them by name. I wish that I had written a bit more about why I was thankful for these things, these people.

My year has been full.  So very full.  I can't go back and fill in the blanks, but I can look back and see what stands out to me above all else. Here's my list, in no particular order.

I am ridiculously thankful for:

* The Robbins Family. My mom's family.  The people that I can count on to put our crazy loud-mouthed irreverent family group above everything else.  I love you because with or without skit or side dish, you come and talk and laugh and just be together. You show your love through your support and shared laughter.

* My wonderful high school group friends.  Leslie, Tonya, Connie, Angie, Lisa. How on earth did we come together?  I'm so grateful that we did. I'm grateful that we could come together again after this ridiculous amount of time had passed and talk and laugh and not want to leave each other's company.  You truly make my heart happy.

* My single-hood friends from days gone by.  Marissa, Tiffany, Krista, Justin, Tyler, Stacy, John, Kacey, Kristi, Lori, Dan, Kristin, and all those who weren't able to come to the "almost didn't happen" get together.  Thank you for bringing your sense of humor and making the day fun.  Thank you for the good memories of the "glory days".  For hoppin' cars, hacky sacks, Central America, the sign game, Lundstrom central, homemade Star Wars movies, the Mt. Air pool, hammocks, cabin sleep overs, Snake River trips, Merry Christmas Eat Beef, Bob Marley (as opposed to Jacob Marley) snow football, and a plethora of fun and precious memories.  You guys rock.

* The Hubbard Family.  My dad's family.  Some of you I know so well, others not so much.  But for some reason I can't get you all out of my head.  Words can almost not express how grateful I am to have seen so many of you supporting my family when Dad passed away.  In the hustle and bustle of life I actually forgot how many of you there are.  Our shared history, our shared heritage is strong.  Our ties are strong.  I am so thankful for that and for you.

* My Logan friends.  Whatever would I do without you.  Seriously.  You know who you are.  My collection of friends from my current ward and those of days gone by. Book clubs, play groups, therapy sessions of all kinds. More shared laughter than I know what to do with.  Shared tears as well.  Thank you you wonderful women.  Diamonds in the rough.

Thank you all.  You've made my list.  It may not mean much to you, but it does to me.  You bring the spots of glorious color to what could have been a very dreary time.  The sunshine in the rain, the silver lining on those clouds that have been hanging over my head. 

You have my gratitude.