Wednesday, January 1, 2014

A Lot More Hope

I love the new year. 

I love the sense of renewal that it brings.  The sense that you can start over, do things that you like again, and leave those you don't particularly care for behind.  

I feel like the chains of oppression that have dragged behind me and weighed me down have been loosened.  This is a time to start over.  A time to try again and do a little better this time.  A time to be gentler with myself and others.  A time to let go of the unnecessary so I can pick up a few more "frivolities" that make life more fun.

My word for this year is HOPE.  I wrote about it a little while ago, before I knew that this would be my word.  My focus. 

It seems almost as if I’ve come full circle on this one.  There was so much hope in my life for such a long time.  Even when I was in despair at finding, or not finding, a husband, deep down inside I still had hope.  Hope for a better future.
Well, I found my husband and my life was better than I had hoped for.  Richer, fuller, much more meaningful. Then we were put into the thick of infertility issues.  That took a great amount of my hope and stomped it into the ground.  I often laughed about a bumper sticker that said “Ever since I gave up hope I feel much better.”  Hope was something that was dangerous.  It could let you fall.  It could trip you up and throw you down.

Not anymore.  Today I choose hope.  I choose faith.  I choose to be positive and believing and hopeful for my future.

Now, keep in mind that this a goal.  Not a reality.  As with all new things there are stumbling blocks.  Things to help us stretch and grow and decide again and again who we want to be.  So if I don't quite make it at first, be patient.  I have a whole year to work on it!

Happy 2014 my friends!  May it be spectacular.