Tuesday, November 6, 2012

It's About...

Last Saturday I forced my husband to watch "What To Expect When You're Expecting" with me.  Good man right!  Right.

As I watched I couldn't help but relate to some of the women in the movie.  I laughed, I cried.  I spent a good deal of time caught between the two.  All those feelings came flooding back, the hope, the despair, the discouragement.  The getting pregnant at last and instead of that happy "glow" that is such a perk, hurting all over and being nauseated and big and bloated and miserable.  Ya know, normal.

But the one that got me the absolute most was the couple that adopted, Holly and Alex.  They had tried everything.  They had sunk their 401K into rounds of IVF (in vitro fertlization).  They simply could not have a child on their own.  It ate at her.  At one point in the movie she says that she feels like a failure.  It's her body that isn't doing what it's supposed to be doing.  It's her fault that they can't have a child.  She can't even do what every woman is supposed to be able to do.  Those of you who have struggled know exactly what that's like.  Exactly.

At the end they were able to adopt a child from Ethiopia.  I cried like a baby.  Cried.  I'm actually getting all emotional right now!  Nothing got me like that.  A family trying to hard to be a family but unable to do it on their own.  They needed someone else.  Someone willing to give them a child.

Adoption sometimes gets a bad name.  People get scared about baggage that may or may not be there.  Grandparents don't want to "give up" their grandchild even if their own child is still... a child.  I never quite knew what I felt about adoption until we were faced with it.  Until it became an option for hope for us.  For our family that could not be a family without someone else. 

"But Lora, you have a child of your own, what are you talking about?"  Well, you're right.  I do have a child of my own.  A miracle child.  An IVF one time shot miracle baby.  We were the lucky couple who had it work on the first try.  I'm pretty sure that's the first time that the odds have actually been in our favor.  But what about the future?  What about more children?  What about those that the odds didn't work out for?  The arms that have tried everything but cannot get rid of the feeling of emptiness.  The arms that long to hold a child.   To care for and raise a child.  To make their family complete.

Meet Brandon, Kristen, and Zachary.  
 Zachary was adopted and I'm not sure if it's possible for someone to love a child more.  They are absolutely amazing together.  All of them.  But, they don't feel like their family is complete yet.  They want a brother or sister for Zachary.  They want another special little person in their home, one they can't bring there themselves. A year has gone by since this picture was taken and they are still waiting, searching, hoping, and praying

So here's my plug for them.  You can find their adoption profile here: https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/24865357/ourMessage.jsf

You can find their blog here: http://brandonkristin.blogspot.com/

If you know of anyone anywhere that might be interested in taking a look their way for whatever reason, please pass it along.  Blessings come in several different ways.  Blessings for Brandon and Kristen, blessings for the special person who can help them be complete.

At the end of it all, it really is about Love.


  1. I had a dream last night about Eliza. She was so beautiful. Bright eyes. Black hair. I woke crying. I hate mornings like that.

    I hope your friends find their baby. I truly do.

    1. Tawnya, I wish you could have your Eliza :)

    2. Amazing the way a heart can seem to break so many different ways. And yet... we somehow manage to keep going. I wish you could have your Eliza too.

  2. I always appreciate these posts from you. I've put off watching that movie since I don't think I can handle that particular story since its my life right now:) But I think I might just have to. i loved reading your words. I hope your friends find their baby! Along with all those others who are waiting and searching :)

    1. Oh Steph!! I'm so glad to hear from you and so sorry that you have to deal with this too! It really really really stinks! The movie has good and bad when you are going through it but it will for sure make you cry. I bawled. you should email me if you want to. I'm always good for a raise a fist in the air or shoulder to cry on or just listening ears from someone who's been there. mdmarian02@hotmail.com. No more usu address for me! Love ya!