Saturday, February 18, 2012

It's time...

For an update.

It's been days since my last contact with the blogging world.  The lights are growing dim just as assuredly as my ankles are growing bigger.  I have unanticipated time on my hands with less and less desire to fill it productively.  sigh...

Okay.  For those not hanging on my every word on facebook, still no arrival of our little bambino. And no change in my condition which means a scheduled hospital date on Monday the 20th to get this party started.  Wednesdsay's appointment did bring up some interesting facts though.  Or really one.  That being that my real due date was February 13th.  Yep, that was last Monday.  I'm glad I heard about this untold change on Wednesday though since ignorance is bliss.

Thursday however.  Thursday was THE day.  THE day that despite all the "no change" and being told that Monday was what we were shooting for... well... the spirit was willing but the emotional flesh was weak.  Thursday came and the longer we were into the day the madder I got!  I ended up at a dear friends house with 2 containers of ice cream, chips, dip, crackers, and if I had been a drinker I would have had two bottles of wine just for me.  I have no idea if I like wine, but it would have been the drama that counted.  Fortunately good conversation, a lot of laughter and Jim Gaffigan helped put things back into perspective.

Friday brought on evening primrose oil, acupressure points, walking the world, and a few other things to help get this party started naturally.  To no avail.  But at least it beat sitting around being irritated.

So Saturday.  Today.  The day that I really didn't think I would be facing.  As in the day that speaks of grocery store runs, errands, house cleaning... it was never in my plan.  My plan stopped on Thursday.  I had no intention of having to deal with Saturday.  All I want to do is eat the rest of the ice cream and watch something brainless on TV.  This day I was not prepared to face.

However, lest things seem too doomy and gloomy, they really aren't.  I complain because I can.  Because I'm fragile and shouting the unfairness of it all when really it hasn't been that bad.  In fact, the only thing that I can really complain about is not being able to put on my shoes without having David compress my feet so that I can actually get them on.  Other than that, blood pressure is grand, I can still go to work and move quite well, I sleep okay, I don't have to be on bedrest, I can still scout out things at the DI and play around.  Really, not much to complain about is there.  In fact there are times when people out there probably hate me because I'm doing so well.  And that's okay.  There was quite a period in my life when I hated everyone who even got pregnant at all simply because I couldn't.  Not a real hate, just a jealousy thing.  Fortunately that stopped a few years ago as I came to terms with infertility and decided to stop letting it run my life.  After all, things were still pretty good.  But I digress.

Life is good.  The sun is shining.  Spring is in the air and David and I will go for a walk.  I will have this baby soon, perhaps not as soon as I want, but soon.

There.  I feel better.  May you all have a marvelous weekend!

4 comments:

  1. No, no! Your ankles are, uh, fine! I swear!

    Thursday was good. Ice cream was good. It was lovely to laugh.

    And, well, you still have two primrose oil and walking days to go before the main event. Yay! (did it help to pretend happy all over it?).

    I shall think of you all Monday as I'm walking in IKEA. Can't wait until our playdates are back in full swing!

    Complain on, Mama!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Labor, labor, labor.....sending vibes your way. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love you!!! You've fought the good fight!! I am so jealous you guys watched Jim Gaffigan. He is FUNNY!

    I'm sending as much labor vibes your way as I know how...

    ReplyDelete
  4. And that's why you are all my friends! Cause you know how to support me even if I don't deserve it! Love to you all!

    ReplyDelete