Sunday, August 30, 2009

Adoption workshop

What a weekend.

On Friday and Saturday David and I attending the adoption workshop. It was Friday from 6-9 pm and Saturday 8am - 6 pm. Fortunately our group was a bit ahead of schedule and we were done at 5:15 or so. Which was good because I think if anymore had been crammed into the day my brain would have melted.

I'm still trying to digest everything that was talked about. There were creative ways on financing adoption, discussions on dealing with and accepting your infertility, openness in adoption, how to fill out the paperwork, what to do and not do for your pictures, and how to tell your child they are adopted. Those just a few of the things that we talked about. Like I said, still trying to digest everything.

The thing that has given me most pause to consider is the openness in adoption. Most adoptions are open instead of closed, meaning you develop a pretty good relationship with the birth mother and keep her appraised of the child's development/progress. The amount of openness is up to us. I have known that it was something that was happening, but I can't say that I've really taken a good look at myself and tried to figure out just how open I could realistically be. It's been rolling around in my head for awhile.

I'm pretty sure that I will be just fine with email updates, pictures on a blog... I'm just not sure where visits will come in. The last thing that I want to do is make it harder on the birth mom than it already is to place her child with us. I'm just not sure where my line of comfort really is. I suppose I'll find out when I get there. So many things up in the air.

It really was a good workshop though. I'm glad I went and the more I think about it, the better I feel about the whole situation. There are lots of helps out there and bottom line is that if this is the way Heavenly Father has for us to start our family then it's the right way.

Kind of exciting huh! I may actually be a mom after all!


  1. Oh, I'm glad it went well! Openess in adoption. I KNOW I'm not there, but I just...I don't know. I think I would be uncomfortable with a lot!

  2. Glad you both survived it! One step down...

  3. course you will. We're all rooting for you! My SIL's sister couldn't have children and they had a pretty open adoption. 4 1/2 years later they received a call and were asked if they wanted to take another baby that the birth mother of their first child was having. They now have three kids and two are siblings. Isn't that crazy? The birth mother saw how wonderfully her baby was being raised and decided to give her next accidental baby to them again. They do live out of state from the birth mother, so the visits are few and far between. Maybe that's an option...?

  4. I know exactly how you feel, that is how we felt when we started the adoption process, not really sure where our comfort level was, but mostly on the side of closed more than open. however, we met heidi and things totally changed. Because of her I am a mom (wiping tears away) and my heart is totally opened to her. The way I feel is that I can share an hour or so here and there with her, because he is mine FOREVER, everyday, ever hour and I will show her how he is happy,loved, etc. She has told us she enjoys seeing him with us to remind her why she placed with him. Every couple and situation is so different, that is the blessing of it! I am glad you had a good experience at the conference. Looks like we will have our papers in at the same time, we are getting them started again!

  5. so exciting! also, danny's HR lady said she met you there! small world.

  6. Wells has been in a tantrum for 15 minutes, going on twenty. He doesn't even remember why he is throwing a fit. Boy is your life about to change!
    Sophi and I have been watching a lot of Nanny lately.

  7. Lora!! I am so excited for you guys! There is so much to consider but I know you guys will end up with the perfect child and the perfect situation that suits all three of you. How wonderful! I can't wait to read about all of your adventures in becoming parents!