Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Objects in Motion...

Tend to stay in motion.

I exercise.  I really do.  I have Turbo Jam videos that I do in the safety of my living room.  I go to the gym and get on the elliptical and the stationary bike and read a good book while puffing away.  I do weight training, I do ab workouts.  I really do exercise.

So when my friend Deb asked if I would like to join her for an aerobics class last Thursday I thought to myself "Sure! Why not.  Perhaps I can learn something.  You know, because I'm already is such good shape."

Let's take a moment shall we and go into depth about what I learned.

1.  As fate would have it I am not skinny and slender and in shape and jumpy-up-and-downable!  Shocking I know!  When I do those exercise videos in the comfort of my own living room where there is absolutely no way I can see what I actually look like because mirrors are banned from that portion of the house, I keep perfect time! I work out in perfect harmony with that perky little instructor.  I am that perky little instructor.  Seriously, the only difference is that I'm taller and wear more clothes.

2.  I learned that a skinny pregnant woman can run me into the ground.  Yep, skinny and pregnant.

3.  I learned that when I attempt the jumpy-up-and-down bit that some other force has attached itself to my body because when I clearly come to a stand still this other force is still moving all awkwardly-like.  I know this because I could see it in the mirror that resides in all aerobics facilities so that you can be haunted by your own image and either swear to come back and do battle again or succumb to depression and eat an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies all by yourself. 

4.  I learned that I hadn't really done jumpy-up-and-down bits for a really long time.  As evidenced by that fact that by the end of the day there was this strange soreness that had come over the tops of my thighs and my calf muscles.  And it didn't go away for days.  Days people!  In fact it got worse and I walked around like I was closer to 70!  I took ibuprofen to help with the pain.  It lasted all the way till Monday morning!  Monday morning!

5.  I also learned that it is time to step up my routine.  I will come back another day and do battle with that thing in the mirror and either make it beg for mercy or accept that I really do look like that and it's okay.  I think some of both may come into play.

6.  I learned that sometimes I need a skinny pregnant instructor to motivate me above what I thought I could do.  To help push myself harder because I really can work out harder.  Seriously, am I going to let a pregnant woman run me into the ground!?

7.  And last but not least, contrary to what I thought would happen half way through the routine, I did not die.  I lived to see another day.  That's right, I have stamina!

So... I will go back on Thursday morning.  I will wear a different shirt though, something in black because it's supposed to help you look slender even it you aren't.  I will not stand in the front closest to the mirror (this was completely unintentional the first time and I was a bit mortified to find my larger than life self staring back at me while everyone else looked so small from a distance).  I will battle the thing in the mirror and I have a sneaking suspicion that my heart will be better off having done so even if my calf muscles scream at me.  Cardio.  Good for the heart and soul.

Oh, and thanks Deb!


  1. Thanks! and for those of you reading the comments. The objects in motion that tend to stay in motion have something to do with my hips and the extra layer they carry!

  2. Ugh. Aerobics. I'm pretty sure I WOULD die...

  3. Lora I love you and miss you! Your blogs are soo funny, entertaining, honest and relate-able. I truly feel your pain as I've struggled to keep up with P90X and their Plyometrics. Your blog gives me courage to keep trying. You are my hero!!

  4. All bread is not baked in one oven.