Potty training does not last forever.

Today's Sunday School lesson was about Job and his many, many trials.

We talked about how we deal with trials and more importantly, how we prepare for them.  So much of life seems to just hit you when you're not even looking for it.  I couldn't help but wonder where the crystal ball was to help you know what you are to prepare for specifically.  I don't recall any warnings that dating and spouse hunting would be such hard work.  Or that once the right guy was found for the job infertility would place such a large roll.

But then again...

Looking back I can see how much I have grown from these experiences and how David and I have grown closer together through it all.  We've never put off having kids (well there was the first 4 months of marriage but that was it I swear!) and we'll welcome them with open arms just as soon as we figure out how to get them.  And yet we have been so very blessed.  We have been able to buy a house, which we were certain we wouldn't be able to do for at least another 5-10 years.  We have been able to meet wonderful people in the places/wards in which we have lived and even keep in contact with them still.  We have been able to get to know each other better without any of those distractions, though they would have been welcome.

There really are silver linings if you can step back and take a look at the big picture.

As as one wise woman said in Sunday School: "Potty training does not last forever! It may feel like it, but take a look around.  You are surrounded by adults who don't have any issues with using the bathroom."

And one last word of wisdom, the scriptures are filled with things that "came to pass", nothing ever came to stay.

Survey says...

There's nothing wrong!

Yep, you heard me correctly.  We met with Dr. Hatasaka today to review the test results of blood, timing, and every other little thing, and well, it seems we're just fine.  Which does nothing to explain the whole no child, no pregnancy, no person to feel guilty about putting us in the rest home when we finally lose it. 

Sigh.

Some would call this good news.  Others, myself really, would call it bad.  Although it's good in a way cause... well we know there's nothing wrong... k, so at least we can move on to...  Nope.  Still bad for me.  I was hoping that these tests would say "Hey Lora, here's the problem!  It's been here all along you just needed to do this."  Or "Oh, now I see it.  Clearly there's nothing to do now but this." 

Verdict:  Unexplained Infertility
Plan from here: 4 rounds of Clomid and IUI (in utero insemination) If that doesn't work they bring out the big guns.
Foreseeable complications:  If I have a cyst... deal off.  New plan: get rid of cyst.  (stupid cyst)

I confess it took me a bit to get comfortable with this idea.  I really was hoping to forgo the Clomid thing and jump right into IVF.  It's probably just me but I think that's where we are headed anyways, so why not just skip the preliminaries?

But then again, maybe I'll be surprised.  Perhaps this is just where we need to be.  Perhaps this was part of the plan always.  Perhaps...

On a brighter note, I have an amazing find for book lovers everywhere.  It's called Jenson Books and it's by the S.E.I. factory outlet here in Logan.  I got these:

For $7.00!  Not $7.00 each, $7.00 for the whole shebang!  Seriously, where has this been all my life!  I like to just sit and stare at it.  It makes me happy.

Every day really does have a silver lining if you look hard enough.

Goodbye Barry White.

I know, how could we possibly do in the Barry White Princess room!

We laughed at it, we cried at it, and now after one whole week, we're done with it.

Barry White has been moved to the living room.  Doesn't look so Barry White there.

Lest any of you get worried, that's not the way the curtains will look in the final stages.  We are having our windows replaced on Tuesday so I thought why bother trying to make them look good when I just have to take them down again.

WE'RE GETTING NEW WINDOWS!! WO-HOO!

Just a little excited about that.

Something about windows that shut and don't give me the heebie jeebies.

The windows have pulled through and have made me happy about the tree.  

Thank you Allison for contributing to my insanity!

I like it better.

A lot better.

I almost feel like an adult.  Almost.

Still need a headboard.

There will be more color.  I'm still playing around but I want to do a quilt that looks something like this:

Still working on the border.  I have put this quilt together in my head 5 gazillion different ways, but I think this one is going to stick.

Sigh.  Who knew decor would be so difficult.

Sunday

What a beautiful day, what an entertaining week! Here are some of things that make it lovely... in no particular order and with no particular sense.

1. It's currently 59 degrees and lovely.


2. We have a pet spider named Howard. We keep him around to eat the hobos. He lives in his own room.

3. We have a lot of hobos.. a lot. They turn up on the spider traps though and that makes me happy that they are doing their job.

4. I just ate 5 large chocolate chocolate chip cookies and I want to throw up.

5. That was a lot of sugar.

6. I just beat David at Settler's of Catan... a game I formerly hated but can actually stand if I'm winning.

7. Who knew?!

8. Really I knew, but don't tell David. I can handle games better if I win.

9. I don't like teaching Sunbeams. I substitute taught today.  Really I was last minute moral support.

10. Does that mean I would be a bad mom?

11. Does it really matter?

12. David is reading this over my shoulder and eating a lemon drop.

13. His breath now smells like medicine.

14. He says "At least it doesn't smell like chocolate chocolate chip cookie dough"

15. Since when does medicine smell better that chocolate chocolate chip cookie dough?

16. Unless it's like Flinstones vitamins. I used to love those.

17. I want to take a photography class. Anyone know of one in Logan not at the University?

18. We have a new camera, we named it Harley.

19. Our rather large television died last week.

20. We've replaced it with another free tv that is... well less than. but free is good.

21. It's silver.

22. It's smaller.

23. It's better than the laptop hooked up to the dvd player.

24.  David had to talk in church today.

25.  Since I lead the music we sat on the stand together.

26.  This is nothing new since he's good and sits on the stand with me anyways.

27.  But it was better because he had to stand up this time.

28.  And I like the view.

29.  We leave for vacation in 9 days.

30.  I love vacations with David.

Here's wishing you all a lovely week.

Enjoyment

The spot

The Anticipation

The Shake: Strawberry Banana Split

The Enjoyment

The smile of Satisfaction.

I love this man, really I do.

A-Hem...

This is what started it.  This tree.  This tree that I saw, that I loved, that I wanted in my house.

These windows encouraged me. They said, "get the tree, we'll make it all worth it."

I had visions of these windows over the tree on my wall looking so fun.

These windows told me, "yes, get the tree, put it behind your bed, you won't regret it."

I complied.

I played with the windows behind the bed.  A faux headboard if you will.

I bought stuff to hang them up.

David helped.  We used modern technology to play around with where the windows should go.

Right over the tree?

To the sides?

Should some tree show through but most not?

Do we move the windows to the sides and not have them touch the tree at all?

We couldn't decide.

Then we got brilliant ideas out of desperation. 

Desperation is an ugly word.

This is what we decided would be a good idea in the middle of the night after a very long day.

It's cute, it's original... it's just not quite right.

It felt like a Barry White room at night.

Like we should have 4 poster pillars...

or pink tiaras.

It just wasn't us.  Perhaps we should tweak it.

Let's try this

Flowers make everything better don't they?

They'll save me from having purchased fabric frivolously.

A more elegant swoop?

And that's when I realized that I kind of hate it.

That sheer fabric shouldn't have been there in the first place.

That it was silly to even think about making a window/headboard out of a bedroom wall.

We are not children.

We are adults.

We need an adult room.

This is not an adult room.

This is almost embarrassing.

Or really all embarassing.

This needs to go away.

But we ran out of money.

And now we're stuck in a Barry White Princess bedroom.

At least there's no pink.... right.

It could be pink.

Sigh.

David's the best to put up with this, to encourage me when he was secretly rolling his eyes.  To humor me.  A saint that's who I married... a saint.

Dementors

Do you ever have those people that just suck the fun out of life?

Or tell you all the reasons why your great idea won't work instead of helping to bring it about?

Does there presence stifle your creativity or your ability to work?

Do happy thoughts flee in terror at the mention of their name?

Do you feel cold inside when even their shadow makes contact with you?

Are you you're own Dementor?

Do the world a favor, don't be the Dementor. Don't suck the life out of those around you and especially not out of yourself.  It just isn't worth it.

Words to live by my friends, words to live by.

The Drive

Lora: I’m in a really bad mood so you don’t want to mess with me right now.


David: Like how bad?

L: Like stop looking at me cause it makes me want to rip your head off, that’s how bad.

D: Oh.

L: Stop looking at me.

He laughs

I glare

He laughs more

I glare with a raised eyebrow.

D: Are you going to make me laugh the whole way to Salt Lake!?

Double glare with raised eyebrow and bugged out eyes.

Erupt in belly laughter.
~~~

I guess it’s good that David knows me so well.

Cool Lunch

So, I brought my lunch in to work. This is not an uncommon event. It consisted of left over dollar sandwiches from one of Lora's catering events, some celery and carrots, and a yogurt. I clock in and go to our break room. I go to the first fridge and it is pretty full. I go to the second fridge and it is pretty full too. I go to the third fridge and there is more space and in goes my food.

At this point I probably should mention that the break room just got a whole new makeover, including new fridges. At lunch time, I grab my lunch to find it is all frozen. The third fridge wasn't a fridge, but a freezer that just happened to look exactly like the other two fridges.

I found out that our HR guy had wondered if this would happen. He did tell me that there was a small sign on the inside of the freezer saying "Hey, dude, I'm a freezer." At least that's what I think it was supposed to say.

All I can say is that celery, once frozen and thawed is pretty droopy!

What Every Child Must Know part 2

I had great hopes for this series of thoughts.  Most of them were to be funny, witty and just have a good time while getting to know a little bit better then kind of people that David and I are.  But truth is, when I think of the things that I want my children to know the most, there really isn't much humor in it.  Can there be too much humor in the things that matter most? 

So here goes the beginning of a list of things that we both hope to be able to teach our future children while they are in our home and haven't yet hit the ever changing philosophies of the world. 

1.  They are children of God. 

I know this sounds a bit trite to some, quite profound to others.  But a must know for survival in this world.  I want them to not only know it, but to feel it too.  That's the tricky part.  How many Sunday school questions can be answered with "the Big Five":

   1.  Go to church
   2.  Read your scriptures
   3.  Fast
   4.  Pray
   5.  Attend the temple

Some of us have heard them all of our lives.  We've memorized the answers to get us back to Heavenly Father and we go along with child-like faith and never doubt that it is true, but also never quite know what that really means.  Then we hit teenage-hood, which my mom lovingly refers to as "stupid-hood" because our brains magically fall out of our head and stay on our pillows while our bodies do what they want.  During teenage-hood we're suddenly lost again.  Trying to figure out who we are and what makes us tick.  The "Big Five" seem childish and we try to find our own way to happiness.

Most of the time we've received enough instruction in Primary and in the home to snap out of it at some point, retrieve our brains from the pillow, dust them off, and put them safely back in our heads where they can actually be used.  The "Big Five" suddenly don't seem quie so trivial anymore.  In fact when used they actually help you feel better about a whole bunch of life, bring you closer to God, and gain perspective about things that really matter.

But sometimes we don't.  We never remember what we've been taught, or at least choose not to believe it anymore.  Contrary to what some might believe, one can actually have some semblance of peace this way, but at the same time it's never quite as deep as those who really know, who really feel that connection to diety and can in fact call Him friend.

I'm not certain how we're going to teach this principle exactly.  Each child is different, each with his/her strengths and weaknesses.  And each a child of God.  Perhaps those "Big Five" will come in handy huh!  But I do know that we are going to try our best to teach our children who they are.  The Lord loves us no matter what we've done, and despite our glaring weaknesses.  We are his children and nothing can change that.  But knowing can certainly change us.

Fertility and Horror Movies

It's me, David again.

On Friday the 13th, we are heading down to the Fertility clinic again to get one of the tests out of the way. It is called the Kruger test (as in the Kruger Strict Morphology test).

Our fertility endeavors have turned into an 80's horror movie!

Random Thoughts

1.  Is it weird that David and I have different toothpaste? His makes me gag and mine makes him gag.

2.  "Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding." Sometimes I think these Billy Joel lyrics describe me perfectly.  Name that song.

3. I recently got a new shower curtain, proceeded to put it up with liner in and fabric out, got all the way finished and then saw the tag sticking out.  Yep, I put it up backwards.

4.  I actually thought about leaving it that way just because I didn't want to take the whole thing down and start over.

5.  Then I realized that if I didn't do it now, it would never get done.. and I mean never.  It would still be there if we moved away, the tag shining like a jewel... only dusty... and gross because I never took it down to wash it.

6.  Aren't you glad I took it down and did it right.

7.  David is I'm sure.

8.  It's difficult to cover white oil-based paint with blue acrylic paint.  And by difficult I mean nigh unto impossible.

9.  I think I'll have to sand it down and start over.  Only I won't.  I'll probably just cover it with paper.

10.  I filled my snack jar with Jolly Ranchers, lemon drops, cherry sours, and pretzel M&Ms.

11.  There are approximately 5 pretzel M&Ms left, and most of the others.

12.  I even buried them at the bottom thinking it would be a deterrent... not so.

13.  What's even sadder is that the rest had been there going on 2 weeks... the M&Ms for the weekend.

14.  Sigh.

15.  Last Sunday when I got up to lead the hymns in Sacrament meeting, the chair closed on the corner of my skirt and almost pulled it off as I moved to the music stand.

16.  If the chair had had a stronger hold and if I hadn't of had a long enough shirt... my underwear would have done all the talking for me.

17.  Then we would have had to move.

My best Saturday wishes for you all.

Farm Love

There are many reasons why I love where I grew up.  I love that you can see things like this.

This is from the front porch.  I love the colors, the way the evening light makes everything look fresh and green.

And the way the hills look behind the house as the sun goes down.  Many a night was spent falling asleep to the sound of sprikler pipe and the smell of fresh cut hay.

Sunsets are gorgeous there.

And where else can you wake up to this.  There's something about all of it that just does my farm-girl heart good.

Perspective

So much of life seems like this rock.  Trials are up close and personal.

What happens when you don't let that trial fill up your life.

What if you refuse to let it fill your whole vision.

Could it be that that huge trial is really quite small when put into perspective?

Here's to perspective.

The best visiting teaching lesson I ever had

from single days gone by

from a girl whose name I can't remember

who taught a lesson I'll never forget.

Thank you.

I woke up this morning certain that I was dying.

Perhaps that was extreme but it was still true.  Actually I thought I had kidney stones or appendicitis.  I was secretly hoping that if it was anything at all it would be gracious enough to be appendicitis because then it could be removed and never to return.  Kidney stones on the other hand just like to show up all willy nilly and cause you to double over in pain and only wish for death... never granted.

Anyway, these severe all over abdomen pains continued for 3 hours causing involuntary spasms and stray tears to roll down my cheeks.  Just as David was certain we were making a trip to the hospital they went away.  It was the strangest thing I have encountered for a long time.  It just went away.  Where to? What caused it?

No idea.

On a side note, I have completely fallen in love with these

Completely in love.  Just the right amount of salty to chocolate ratio.
You don't suppose they betrayed me and caused me involuntary abdominal pain... oh the things you do for love.