Back in the Saddle Again

So a quick update on the child and the getting thereof.

Most of you know we're working with the doctor again, this time a specialist.  Last update was 4 rounds of IUI and see what happens, unless there's a cyst.  So of course there's a cyst.  Why wouldn't there be a cyst?!?  Did they not realize who they are dealing with.  I have cysts and that's just how it goes.  So the last three months have been the months of monitoring.

Good news is that after three months of monitoring said cyst (I shan't even give this one a name) we're moving forward anyways.  Dr. Hatasaka is a little more aggressive with these things and I for one am quite happy about that.

So on Friday I started taking Femara which is a non-FDA approved drug that does similar things as Clomid but with fewer side effects.  He feels confident with it and I have no reason to doubt so here we are.  Next step is the ever loverly stick-peeing game (sorry I don't know how to word that differently and still leave no doubt about how I feel) and when the appropriate spike happens, we give the doctor a call, go in the next day and do the first round of IUI.  I know, we're living on the edge here.

I mostly wanted you all to know that we're still pursuing.  Still headed down the road of children one way or another.  As stated before I really don't care how our children come into our family just so long as they come!

The end... for now.

Indulge me

Warning!! Whining ahead!

Today I am having a pity party because today, I am still sick!

It's just not fair.  Two weeks ago I got the flu and boy howdy did I get the flu!  I spent some quality time conversing with the toilet gods wishing for death.  I was down and out for 4 days.  Then I got to feeling better and life went on.

Well on Tuesday I had this scratchiness in the back of my throat and I thought "oh no, not a cold!".  David didn't get the flu but he had a doozy of a cold.  That's right doozy.  He was miserable and I felt bad for him.  In fact I stated out loud that I would rather have the flu than a cold because at least with the flu you get it over and done with in a few days.  A cold could last forever.

So the scratchy throat propelled me into a flurry of Zicam lozenges to help fight it off before it got there completely.  Well my friends, I'm here to tell you that the cavalry was called and the circled wagon train still fell to the hostiles.

I'm sick. I can't breathe.  I have mouth-breathing syndrome at night accompanied by cracked dry lips in the morning.  I'm in a constant state of cotton mouth and my sinuses drip continuously but still remained stuffed.  Massive amounts of Nyquil and Dayquil are having little effect. It used to be that half a dose of either medicine had me right as rain.  This time a full dose barely makes a dent!  And it's been going on for days.. days I tell you!  I NEVER get colds that last this long or hit this hard.

So I'm whining about it.  Whining that I had to cancel plans with family for the weekend.  Whining because I had to cancel dinner with friends.  Whining because this dastardly cold kept me from the ward Halloween party.  Whining because it's kept me in a perpetual state of medicine head with no end in sight.   Baaah ha ha aaaahaaa.  Whining.

That's it.  Life will go on.  I will survive.  I just wish I could breath a little better while doing it.

Thursday Movie Quotes

Theme:  Movies from my home collection... GO!

1.  "I've written papers on 'Little did he know...' I nearly taught a course on 'Little did he know..."

2.  "I love you like a son." "I am your son!"

3.  "Maybe you're the plucky comic relief?"

4.  "Joe! You're one beauty!"

5.  "Use the corresponding face for the corresponding emotion."

6.  "Use your talent to save him!... Hurt him to save him."

7. "Now, why go up there when people are dying to get down here?"


And for those of you feeling like you are pathetic because you know so many movies... well there are equal parts that are feeling pathetic because they don't know enough!  See, it all balances out.  Why not enjoy what we've got.

Funny

So I was going through the camera to make sure that my memory card was empty for class and this was one of the pictures.

I know it's blurry, but it just made me laugh out loud.  So many reasons why my husband is awesome.  He'll probably be a little bit irritated that I put this out here for the world to see, so be sure and tell him he's awesome.

You know, it's his birthday soon.  October 28th to be exact.

A sense of humor helps in times like this.

Halloween Candy

David and I bought Halloween candy today. 

I'm quite proud of us because this is the longest that we've held out on stocking up for the Halloween rush of costumed kids coming to the door.  Of course when purchased in advance of the actual day that usually means another purchase closer to, if not the day of, because something mysterious happened to chocolate stash!  I have no idea what, it just disappears.  And I'm positive that we're not the only ones who suffer from this phenomenon.  It is Halloween after all, strange and unusual things are in the air.

So with a few days to go and a minimal purchase, we should be right as rain.

My snack size candy bar of choice is Milky Way.  It's not even my favorite candy bar but it has so many memories attached to it.

My Grandma.

Isn't she beautiful.  This was taken when she was younger of course.  She's gone now but it always surprises me how much I miss her at times.  So much that it hurts inside.  I get a lump in my throat and for a minute I can't trust myself to speak.

Halloween as a child carries memories of scratchy burlap sacks and tights (Indian), painted faces, hand-made costumes, snow boots and winter coats.  I grew up in Idaho after all and it wasn't uncommon to have the occasional skiff of snow (or drift as the year went) on the ground.  But out we went.

I also lived in the country which meant everyone piled in the car fully costumed and we drove from neighbor to neighbor.  We mostly kept it to our ward members and started at one end of the valley with Aunt Diane and Uncle Kurt and ended up on the other end of the valley with Aunt Sandy and Uncle Berry and hit every house in between.  Each year we went to the same houses and each year we came home with homemade popcorn balls, Halloween suckers, Tootsie rolls, and the prized snack size candy bars. 

After the usual route, instead of heading home we made one last stop at Grandma's house.  She always had a hug and a kiss on the cheek for us.  And she always had Milky Way candy bars... always.

My grandma was an incredible woman so full of love, hope, and reality.  There are so many things to tell about her, to pay tribute to her character and the strong woman she was.  But today I'll just take comfort in letting the sweet feelings of memory wash over me.  Remember her scent.  Remember her smile.  Remember always feeling special.

My Neighborhood... a Tribute

I LOVE my neighborhood.  I LOVE my neighbors.  Even the ones I don't know very well, there's just a feeling here.  A feeling of belonging.  I love the kids playing in the yard.  I love the quietness of the cul-de-sac.  I love the mixing of cultures.  We've got people from Brazil, El Salvador, Mexico, Africa, New Zealand, Tonga.  LOVE.  I LOVE our ward! Yes, LOVE!  I wish that everyone could have a ward as cool and friendly as ours.  I love that there are new people as well as people who have been their for 15 years and still consider themselves "new to the ward".  Love that!

I love my overgrown backyard that screams for help because it's my overgrown backyard that's screaming for help.  I love my home with the things that need to be fixed or updated here and there.  I love making it look more comfortable and more inviting.  I love feeling welcome in my own rooms... all of them.

There is so much to be thankful for right now.  The change in temperature seems to bring some excitement.  The air is colder and crisp in the morning.  All things pumpkin appear from the colors in department stores to items on the grocery store shelves.  The Holiday season is just around the corner.  The time when you can't help but be drawn to do something nice for everyone you see.  But especially the people who surround you, whether it is family, friends, or people you barely know, now is the time when the very air around you lends itself to kindness, warmth, and compassion.

Perhaps that is why Fall is my favorite season.  I love them all but it's Fall that makes me giddy inside.

May this day be wonderful for all!

Answers!

I wish I had a cool prize for all participants.  That would have been fun too. 

1. "I've never seen that. I've never seen anybody drive their garbage down to the street and bang the hell out of it with a stick." 
   THE BURBS

2. "When was the last time you were decently kissed? I mean, truly, truly, good and kissed?"
   THAT THING YOU DO

3. "You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity."
   TOY STORY
4. "The Godfather is the answer to any question. What should I pack for my summer vacation? "Leave the gun, take the cannoli." "
   YOU'VE GOT MAIL

5. "It's easier to be killed by a terrorist than it is to find a husband over the age of 40!"
   SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE

6. "I have less than six months to live. The Waponis believe they need a human sacrifice or their island is going to sink into the ocean. "
   JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO

7. "WILSON"
   CASTAWAY
Thanks for playing!

Because it was fun the first time

More Movie Quotes!

A big pat on the back and the feelings of euphoria that come from being similarly minded to someone cool on the internet.... I know, it's a stretch.

1.  "I've never seen that.  I've never seen anybody drive their garbage down to the street and bang the hell out of it with a stick."

2.  "When was the last time you were decently kissed? I mean, truly, truly, good and kissed?"

3.  "You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity."

4.  "The Godfather is the answer to any question. What should I pack for my summer vacation? "Leave the gun, take the cannoli." "

5.  "It's easier to be killed by a terrorist than it is to find a husband over the age of 40!"

6.  "I have less than six months to live. The Waponis believe they need a human sacrifice or their island is going to sink into the ocean. "

7.  "WILSON"

Extra cool points to those of you brilliant people who can spot the common link.
A true test in movie trivia.

Answers

Okay, so that was way too fun.  I think I'll do it again.  Perhaps a Name That Musical because I grew up on musicals.

Anyway, here's the answers to the movie lines:

* Be sure to drink your ovaltine  The Christmas Story


* Beware of the groove  Emporer's New Groove

* The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle  The Court Jester

* Sink me  The Scarlett Pimpernel

* You are my inspiration, Irene  Pillow Talk

* Well they taste sweet, but really they're just humiliated grapes  Benny &Joon

* I'm a Dapper Dan man  O Brother Where Art Thou

* She reminds me of me  True Grit

* You can't handle the truth!  A Few Good Men

* Looks to me like they're comin' up with a plan  Tremors

There are far too many...

There are far too many times today when I couldn't finish a sentence.
or a thought
or an assignment
or an email
or a phone call
or a job
or my piece of cake.... sigh.

Movie quotes that went through my head today:
(bonus points to those of you who can name them)
* Be sure to drink your ovaltine
* Beware of the groove
* The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle
* Sink me
* You are my inspiration, Irene
* Well they taste sweet, but really they're just humiliated grapes
* I'm a Dapper Dan man
* She reminds me of me
* You can't handle the truth!
* Looks to me like they're comin' up with a plan

Random things that made me wish I had a camera handy

1. The flower bed in the median
2. The black and white calf grazing close the fence
3. The fog at the base of the Wellsvilles this morning
4. The girl in full cabaret attire complete with top hat standing by the copy center

Progress

So part of healing is finding something you love and pursuing it... right?
Well, I'm taking a photography class on Monday nights and I'm loving it.  I've always wanted to learn more but I knew that I would never do it just by pulling out a book and studying.  I need visuals people.  And one on one instruction and someone to make me actually do it.  That is why online classes would have been bad for me.  Procrastination.

But now I have a class through Bridgerland that lasts until December 6th and goes Monday nights 7-9. There's a teacher.  There's a studio.  There's assignments.  This just may work.
Here's the results of the 2nd class, first day in the studio.

Enjoy.

Granted we were only supposed to be taking pictures of the apple and berries, but since when have I stuck to the script? 

Healing

Healing comes in many forms

and is needed for different things.

Discouragement

Depression

Emotional pain

Physical needs

Some can be taken care of with a band-aid.

Some require a little bit more.

Sometimes you're broken on the inside

and no one can tell with just a quick glance.

They have to look deeper and even then

they aren't sure.

It may have just been the lighting.

 But you never can tell how much a hug

a hello

a smile

a listening ear

can help someone needing to heal.

Sometimes it just requires a bit of time.

That's what I'm taking now.

A bit of time.

Time to look at my life without any pressure

Time to decide what is best for me.

Meanwhile I want to give you a hug, a smile, a hello, a listening ear.

Oh, and thank you for your smiles, your hugs, your hello's and your listening ears.

So Thank you.