Wednesday, June 8, 2011


I feel all in a jumble right now.  There are so many things that my thoughts skip back and forth between.  I wish that someone could just take a peek inside my brain and tell me what is important.  What to spend my time dwelling on.  What to just let go.  Tell me what is inside my realm of control and what just isn't.

All the traveling has come to a stop and I can rightly say that it's a blessing.  Gas prices on the rise and all.  But it has given me more time to think.  I've thought about my New Year's word, Moderation.  I wonder if I'm anywhere close.  I feel I have made progress but I seem to be the kind of person that bounces back and forth.  I get heavily involved in a project until I burn myself out on it.  Hence my unfinished quilt, half made gift bags and cards that are just waiting to be put together.  Or recently the room that gets half way cleaned, the laundry that gets half way done.  Perhaps I have eased back a little much.

I've also been thinking about friends.  Friends that used to be a large part of my life but seem to have drifted.  Friends that perhaps I took for granted would always be there.  Particularly one.  I've reached out and have been met with silence in return.  I keep on wondering if I have offended somewhere along the way.  Did I get so wrapped up in the things that are going on in my life that I neglected someone when they may have needed me.  Did they reach out and I missed it?  I hate the way these thoughts are plaguing me right now. 

I've always thought of myself as a loyal friend.  Once friends always friends.  No matter the distance or time in between.  I may not be a "best" friend or a regular "hang out" friend, but I just don't know how or when to stop calling them friend.  So I don't.  And when I'm met with silence by all of my inquiries as to how they are... well, I just don't know what to do.  It kind of makes my heart hurt.  And it makes me worried about them.  I wonder if they are okay.  If there marriage is okay.  If something awful has happened.  If if if...  Perhaps I'll try a more direct approach.  Like showing up on their doorstep and begging. 

I guess there are usually no easy answers to things.  Life just takes time.  Problems take energy to figure out.  Priorities need to be made.  People need to be remembered.  Nothing really profound about it.  Just gotta do it.


  1. Same same. COMPLETELY the same about friends. Sigh...

  2. Well, if either of you ever stop calling me your friend... you just might be have to call me a stalker because I'm not going anywhere! :)

  3. Lora
    Oh boy do I know how you feel, it is so hard sometimes. I totally agree once friends, always friends no matter the time or distance or time in between talking, but some people just are weird about friends, like maybe they meet their quota or something and it drives me crazy. I had a friend once that was a good friend, our husbands were friends, we would do things together as couples ALOT, then when they got pregnant, it was like we had nothing in common anymore and we couldn't be friends. I would run into them at certain events and it was like they would walk away. Then we stopped by their house one time to take them a treat, we saw the husband in the window and the cars parked, but they never answered the door. WEIRD. It bugs me I am not going to lie, but I have found those friends whose lives I fit in and who fit in mine and even thought it makes me sad to "lose" some, I am grateful for the ones I have and I hold them close! (especially those who we have bonded with like blood sucking bats! )

  4. Kristin we will ALWAYS be friends! you just don't share blood sucking bats and forget something like that! and Lacey, never fear, I'm like a bad penny, always turning up! You guys rock!

  5. Here you go- things to spend your mental time on:
    How many licks does it take to get to the middle of a Tootsie Pop?

    Is 10 Milky Ways Bars really cost effective for 1 cake or would 11 be better?

    If you eat all your meals in a bathtub full of water does it cut down the calories you consume?(really a diet fad while I was in high school)

    Finding different ways to sneak up behind your kitty scare him, make him jump and record how high.

    As for priorities dear friend- Sometimes they are a day to day hour by hour thing. Energy is the key- spiritual, emotional and physical and sometimes you just have to rest a while.

  6. Amy: Sam's club 36 Milky Way bars... very cost effective.

    Tootsie pop: 3. just like the owl said!

    Kitty: I put the full length mirror on the floor this morning. He was distressed and I was entertained! wah ahahaha!

    Oh and meals in the bathtub: first wow I can't believe people thought that, second I had a vision of Kramer from Sienfeld... huh.

    Thanks for making me laugh!