30 As a 1930s wife, I am Poor Take the test!

I feel strangely okay with this score...

138 As a 1930s husband, I am Very Superior Take the test!

my husband was much better... hmmm... what does that mean?

Greetings from Austen-land

WARNING: If you have any desire to read Mansfield Park and don't want the ending spoiled, DO NOT read this post... - the Management

I just finished reading "Mansfield Park" about 5 minutes ago. It was more of an endurance read than I have had in a long time. There were portions of the book that I found myself greatly drawn to, but a great majority of it was just long. And I must admit, it didn't turn out at all like I wanted it to. I was greatly anticipating the ever-moral Fanny Price to fall in love and marry the slightly more dangerous but hopeful Mr. Crawford. I thought her un-bending Victorian morals so much in need of 'stirring-up' and that Mr. Crawford was just the guy to do it; handsome, witty, and the professor of un-dying love. But as in all good moral novels, the bad guy, though only compared to the most strict set of morals and by far the more interesting, is still the bad guy. He cannot change his ways and will certainly lead to ruin. Whereas those whose morals guide their lives to the point of being unwilling to see the possibility of change and even repentance in others are left to their own devices and happiness and tranquility are sure to follow. Blechkhkkhkkkh.

I'm so glad that I don't live in those times! It reminded me of "The New England Nun", a short story whose author I forget, but whose message I can't. I should like to discuss that one sometime. And for those of you who haven't made it through the book all the way, don't worry, you haven't missed too much, nor have I revealed all the sordid details. There's more to the story. Of course you don't get 412 pages with such a simple plot. However, I'm glad to have it done with, I've been preached to enough.

Life of Pi

My brother-in-law suggested that I read this book, "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel. It was once again a very captivating story. The purpose of the book was to get people to believe in God. I'm not sure if it accomplished its purpose with myself as the reader. I already have a fairly solid idea of what God is like. However, the story was fascinating. I had to do with perspectives and how we choose to view life.

I am curious if any others out there have read the book and what you thought. The ending took me a bit by surprise and I find myself still unable to pinpoint just how I feel about it.

Oh Happy Day!

I got a call from the doctor's office today. The trauma of giving blood paid off!!! My prolactin level is low and is thought to be the main cause of my lack of 'increase'. If I could hug every nurse that stuck a needle in my arm I would. After two and a half years of wondering and waiting, we have hope again. And it feels oh so good.... It's been a long time.

I realize that this may not be the end of the road, but it's still a reason to celebrate. We're closer than we've ever been. Oh happy day!!!

The Results...

Saturday was the Bear Lake Mammoth Marathon in which David and I signed up to run the 10K. 6.2 miles of putting one foot in front of the other and racing against ourselves and our own personal clocks. I was both nervous and excited as we got to the Garden City Park to pin on our numbers and start the race. My excitement waned a bit upon finding out that the proper computer hadn't arrived, so we would be timed via stop-watch. But, since I wasn't in it to win a medal or anything, that didn't really matter too much in the grand scheme of things.

The course was mapped out to start on the bike trail and head south around the lake. We were to go so far, turn around, run back past the park and do a twelve block loop through town and return to the park again to cross the finish line.

So, the whistle blew and off we went. I was feeling pretty good about my performance simply because I kept on going. It's much easier to push yourself when everyone on the road is running too. I maintained a good pace, not too fast, but not too slow. On the website it said that there would be water stations every 1.5 miles. So I kept running, hoping to gauge my distance and time by the water stations. I kept going, and going, and going. We had to cross the road, another bit of a disappointment because there were no police there to stop traffic, so we had to wait for a good opportunity... a little nerve-wracking, but we all survived. We got to the turnaround point and there still wasn't a water station. I was certain that we had run more than the allotted 1.5 miles and I was getting a little edgy.

I had tried to hydrate myself fairly well before the race started, but since I knew that there would be water along the route, I didn't try too hard. So I turned around and headed back with hopes that perhaps they had set up water stations after I had passed. To make a long, drawn-out section of the story go a little faster, there was only 1 water station and it was at the end of the race... I was very mad. It's difficult to run 6.2 miles with no water. There was a lovely station set up for the 1/2 marathon and full marathon runners with bananas, power bars, etc. but no water. I asked the people manning it if they had any water and they said that it got forgotten. Nice huh.

So, I plugged along, cursing the organizers for forgetting the promised liquid refreshment and made it back to the park. I started the loop through town and never had one mile been so hard. I ran it like a injured animal... jog a little here, walk a little there and pant my life away while trying to catch my breath and make my legs do the job. I couldn't help but wonder why I was having such a hard time with this last mile. I just didn't have the oomph to keep going steady. But I pushed my way through. Made it across the finish line and felt like I was going to throw up.

It was then that everything became clear. I heard from a fellow 10k'er that the organizers had misjudged the route and we had actually run 7.3 miles. No wonder the last mile was so hard! I immediately wished death on the organizers of the mammoth marathon. But at least I felt better about my time. 7.3 miles in 81 minutes. Not too shabby.

Do I Recommend it?

Today I finished reading "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini. I have had the book recommended to me several times and I finally got my hands on a copy, thanks to my brother-in-law. Overall, I really enjoyed the book. Like the back cover says:

"Parts of The Kite Runner are raw and excruciating to read, yet the book in its entirety is lovingly written."

I couldn't agree more. It's definitely not light reading. It's a book that makes you think about the world around you and how much you really don't know... and how privileged we really are. The book takes place in Afghanistan when Russia took over and is followed by it's overthrow by the Taliban and the effect it had on the country and the people. I found it interesting that when the Taliban first came to Afghanistan they were praised as saviors and liberators. It didn't take long for the opinion to change as the people were more and more oppressed.

It's an interesting and informative read. I had trouble putting it down. So yes, I recommend it, just don't expect many warm fuzzies.

Hope... a 4 letter word.

I have the lyrics of the Beatles, "Hey Jude" going through my head right now. Perhaps it's because I recently watched "Across the Universe" and loved the soundtrack so much I went out and bought it. Or perhaps I like the slightly melancholy sound that the Beatles put into it. It's a reflective sound that can't help but be felt as well as heard.

"Hey jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better."

I believe it's the sad song that needs to be made better that my heart is dwelling on. As many of you know, David and I are having a difficult time having children... as evidenced by our complete lack thereof. It's definitely been a challenge and a bit heart-wrenching at times. I am not saying this to get anyone's pity, or make anyone feel like they have to put that consoling arm around me, but it does help in understanding the mood I am in today. It's also a bit weird to be putting this on the web where anyone can see it, but I have full confidence that those I consider to be friends are the only ones reading this anyway.

So... with that introduction, David and I have begun to hope again. We are going to a new doctor and going through those increasingly clinical "procedures" which are just so dang fun (please note the extreme sarcasm in which that is said), and we are beginning to hope again... which also means it's getting hard again. I read a bumper sticker once that said "I feel much better ever since I gave up hope." I had to laugh because sometimes that is so true! Your hopes are never dashed if you don't have them to begin with! I have spent the last year concentrating really hard on not hoping for certain things. Apparently I have slacked off because it has entered into my life once again. For the most part I am optimistic, but there are those days...

Whew! What a week!

K. so life has been quite busy for us. David and I have decided to run the 10k in the Bear Lake marathon in two Saturdays... I know, I know... why would anyone intentionally want to put themselves through that much pain? Temporary insanity? or a semi-noble attempt to get into some kind of shape (hopefully not pear-shape). Either way, we are signed up and trying to get ready to finish the race without dying. It's on the 14th, I'll let you know how it goes.

Our other ambition was to get the garden in, which we did last Saturday. Last year we very ambitiously planted 21 healthy and producing tomato plants and therefore had them coming out of our ears. I still have several quarts of tomatoes on the shelves. Learning from our experience, we have scaled back and we very frugally planted 5 instead. We are also going to try some cucumbers and lettuce this year. Wish us luck! We have a plot of roughly 10' x 10' that actually sees the sun, we're really rather lucky to get anything. (Curse our pretend-a-backyard. If we had it our way we'd move the house towards the road 10-15 feet so we could actually utilize the backyard for a good purpose.)

On another note, I had more blood drawn and didn't pass out!!! HAPPY DAY! It's really the little things that make me happy.