I "Heart" Primary

Today:

Teacher: What are some of the songs we learn in church?

Kid: Eye of the Tiger

Sharing

Do you ever feel like THIS. ( I tried to embed the clip from youtube but it's not an option. I'm sure you'll enjoy it just the same. Side note: don't click on the picture, it doesn't go anywhere but to a bigger version) I think this clip encompasses a least a small portion of the work week. Too bad I'm not the owner and a there is no broom in the office. Maybe I'll get one. Hmm...

Enjoy.

David

Conversation this morning.

David: Why are you so beautiful?

Me: So you can put up with the stupid things I do.

David: You're probably right, but why do you have to be so smug about it!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

David: If I could dish it out the way you do you would absolutely wither!

Me: It's a good thing you are stronger than I am!

David: You better believe it.

Me: But you still love me!

David: I know! (exasperatedly)

Me: Maybe even because of it!

David: No... Well.. dangit.

Will you help us?

So, for those of you who are new to this blog, you may not be aware of our deep desire to expand our family of two. It's been a long and grueling journey through doctors visits, surgery, hope, disappointment, tears, frustration, more hope, more visits, more frustration and finally the turning of a page and taking of a different road.

As time has gone by and we've been feeling better and better about our decision to adopt, peace has come into our lives. At least a measure of it. We've finished our paperwork and we've been approved. Now we get to wait. But really, who can just wait? We've been counseled to "get our name out there", to "tell everyone you know", even to pass out business cards in order to get the word out and help that special little someone come into our lives.

I confess, it feels a little like selling ourselves. It's hard to "market" yourself; it just feels awkward. However, there are some things I can do. I may not be going door to door, but I can spread the word other ways. That is where you come in. David and I would be ever so grateful if all who read this would spread the word. A huge percentage of adoptions occur through word of mouth. We have a profile on itsaboutlove.org and there is a link to it on the sidebar of this blog. It's the first picture, just click on it and it will take you there.

We don't know how the right person will find us, but if we are doing everything we can, then somehow it will happen. The Lord helps those who help themselves right. So here's helping ourselves and hoping you will help too.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for helping.

Lora and David

I'm Back

Hello all ya'll in blogger land! I was beginning to wonder if I would come back from this little hiatus. I'm not entirely sure what happened to keep me silent for so long. Well maybe it was the whole crazy-busy part of life. Or perhaps the new found love of a British television show "Allo! Allo!", a little treasure I found whilst perusing the local library. I confess, I'm through 3 seasons already. In my defense, they are only 8 episodes in a season. Still.

Of course there is always the mad reading frenzy that I found myself in as well. It's like I was starving for reading time and in order to get it I sacrificed house cleaning and blogging. Nothing wrong with those priorities right? Those of you out there with children are just jealous that I actually can sacrifice housework for hours of uninterrupted reading. It's okay, just remember I really want to be like you!

Speaking of which, this whole waiting thing is well... hard. It's not like we expected to be chosen right away, but it really is difficult not knowing who has looked at our profile and if that special little someone is closer than we think. Sigh... On the bright side, invitations to baby showers aren't nearly as hard as they used to be. At one point it was enough to slip into a bit of a depression and have a good pity cry. Now it's a bit more fun because there really is a chance that someday it will be for my baby! You know anywhere between next month to 10 years from now. Sigh again! Oh well, plenty to keep us busy with.

Highlights of the past two weeks:

1. Bridal Faire is over! Woo-hoo! I actually want to post pictures to show that all the anxiety and madness was worth it, but I have to wait on someone else to download the photos. Perhaps another entry in the future.

2. I have a fully staffed primary! Save for a scouting leader, but hey, at least I got teachers right!

3. Another trip to Las Vegas for work has been planned. Reservations made, plane tickets purchased. Just over a month and certain warmth awaits.

4. I have new exercise socks! It really is a big deal.

5. Every once in a while I look up and notice I still have a Christmas decoration on the wall. I think about taking it down and realize that there is nothing to replace it with. With nothing there it's too bare to bear. Yup.

6. January is almost over and that is good. I have decided that January is the worst month of the entire year. For those of you with special occasions during said month it probably isn't that bad, but for me... never ending gray, cold, bleak, why does this time of year have to exist! Every other month has something to look forward to, or at least more sunshine. January exists right after the holiday high and hits you with a large electric bill due to Christmas lights, dark streets now that lights are no longer festive, just weird, and it honestly leaves me wondering if I can actually make it through the end of the month with any sanity left. Sweet January, it's time to end.

That's it for now. I know, didn't have to write a book, but thanks for listening anyways!

Can You Eat Your Facial Cleanser?

Seriously, how many of you can benefit from facial cleanliness and eat it too?

K, I would never on purpose eat facial cleanser, but while I was in the shower today, I tried a new product that was given to me by Tawnya for my birthday. Burt's Bees Orange facial cleanser. It's an all natural thing not tested on animals and all that jazz. So there I was, shampoo in my hair waiting to be rinsed while I did step 2 of the routine and put cleanser on my face. I followed the directions and massaged it into my skin so it's magic powers could wipe away the impurities of life embedded deeply in my skin. I moved on to step 3, the hair rinse when the dreaded happened.

An errant drop of water found it's to my cheek and casually worked it's way down to my lip. I could feel it creeping along in it's journey. I took immediate action and pressed my lips together so the dreaded concoction wouldn't make it into my mouth, you all know how badly soap of any kind tastes. Too late. I licked my lips just a little to verify. I expected my gag reflex to kick in next but what to my wondering tongue should, um, appear? The refreshing taste of sweet orange! Delightful! And completely bio-friendly.

Oh Burt's Bees products, where were you when I needed you! Oh how marvelously handy you would have been in the hippy infested waters of Strawberry Hot Springs (that's in Colorado in case you were wondering.). Communal bathing after hours would have been a tad more appealing if only nature friendly products would have been stashed in my bag.

Okay, I would never but it really would have fit the experience perfectly. After hours clothing was optional. I vow to NEVER stay after hours. Ewwwww.

Chew on that.

Survival.

Do you ever have those times when you feel you are at the end of your rope. There is just so much that needs to be done or dealt with that you a) can see no end in sight and b) can see no way out of it. Escape simply isn’t an option. You and you alone have to face the tasks that have been so graciously set upon your plate.

I have a few different ways that I deal with life at these times… or rather react at these times.

1- Auto Pilot. Like a wind up toy I just get up I the morning and keep on going. I find safety and comfort in routine. I try not to think about my list of things to do because then I will realize I’m walking along the edge of a cliff and if I may fall at any time. I just do it. I get things accomplished and by the end of the day things don’t look all that bad.

2- Analyzer. I prioritize. I take the list, dissect it and find out what is really important. I throw the lesser things out or push them to another time, another day. I find out what tasks upon completion would relieve the most stress.

3- Ostrich. I bury my head in the proverbial sand and hide from everything. I stay in bed. If I keep my eyes closed and lay in this safe warm place then things have to change right?

That is where I found myself this morning. As an Ostrich. The protective powers of the average blanket are amazing. They ward off monsters under the bed and the responsibilities of adulthood. But unlike monsters that go away with the coming of daylight, the responsibilities of adulthood stick around no matter how much light is in the room. In fact, sometimes they multiply.

Fortunately after ignoring the alarm clock for a bit longer than ever anticipated, I was able to get up and Auto Pilot kicked in. Life does go on and somehow we manage to keep going and even crack a smile every once in awhile. I am currently in my office, secretly wishing that Ostrich had taken a stronger hold and I was still in bed while writing this. But I am not. Like most of us hiding under the covers isn’t a luxury we can afford to have… at least not without some careful planning and scheduled time off. Is that what being adult is? Scheduling?

So, what do you do to get through the day? What helps you continue to put one foot in front of the other? Seriously, I want to know. I’m always on the lookout for more ideas to keep on going. If nothing else it makes me feel normal to know I’m not the only one that has these kind of days.

Simplify

"With our pitchers, we attempt sometimes to water a field, not a garden."

-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I've been trying to simplify my life lately. It seems to always come after Christmas when every nook and cranny is full of something related to the Christmas season. The candlestick holders are adorned with red ribbon. The already full book shelves have holiday figurines keeping them company. House plants find a new home while the nativity is set out for a temporary showing. Then it is time to take every thing down.

Sometimes a bare wall is soothing to the already troubled and cluttered world. The nook and crannies not only become deprived of their holiday visitors, but seem to lose some of their regular occupants as well. It's a time to go through the sometimes massive amounts of stuff and re-think their value. Some items simply get boxed up for awhile until I miss their company in which they will make a reappearance at a later date. Other, less sentimental? get boxed up and shipped off to the second hand store where I'm positive someone will find them, take them home and love them as I once did. Either way, I find it easier to breathe.

I've been reading "Gift From the Sea" by Anne Marrow Lindbergh. It's a very thought provoking book, small but significant. One that even though you could read it in a day you would be cheating yourself in doing it. I confess it did spark this post, but not the need to de-clutter. I go through that every January. The tree goes out and the room opens up and airs itself out. I sit in my living room and find that my mind is less strangled. The openness of the room gives my sense of self permission to do it's own airing out. Take stock of what's been cluttering up my mind and decide if it has use or enough sentimental value to take up the space. In the limited amount of energy that I have through out the day is this worth dwelling on?

If only it were as simple as clearing off a shelf.

How do you clear your head and take stock of your life?

Companionship

I've been thinking a lot lately about companionship and my need for it sometimes and my desperate need to be alone sometimes. I think we all have those days when you just want the entire world to leave you alone for a few blessed hours while you collect yourself. No? just me? Not sure I believe that.

I've found myself doing odd things lately. Like taking simple tasks (getting primary manuals to teachers) and making it difficult. "Here, instead of me just taking my portion around by myself because I have the easier time getting away from it all, how about I make it difficult and have someone else come with me who happens to have children and it means some coordination and timing and isn't said person's responsibility anyways." Phew! Fortunately I came to my senses and a prompt email said "Hey I'm an idiot, don't worry about it, I will do it all by myself like a big girl." K, so it happened, get over it right?!

Well I can't help but ask myself why I do these silly things in the first place. So I shall ponder it in the willy-nillyness of my blog, where you dear readers can choose to ignore it, laugh at the ridiculousness of it, think about it yourselves, comment on it, or just go on with life thankful that you don't have to be me right now.

I used to be one of those people who were so independent that I went to movies and dinner by myself. (no, this did not have any reflection on my dating life... or at least I think it didn't.) I would take a book, sit down at Formosa, enjoy my tiny spicy chicken (which sounds really good about right now) and the printed word on the pages of whatever novel or school book was currently on the reading list. I even used to prefer doing visiting teaching by myself, of course that was mostly because it was so difficult to get 3 schedules to sync and if it was going to get done I would just do it. I enjoyed those times. I enjoyed the productivity of it all.

So how did I go from Miss Independent to Miss Help Me I Can't Do Anything By Myself? I'm not really sure. I think marriage had something to do with it. It's so nice to have David there as my perma-date/sounding board/dish helper/movie watcher/grocery shopper/generally go anywhere with me guy. Perhaps if he weren't such a good husband then I wouldn't have some of these problems? No that can't be it. Besides that's too simple and answer that requires little to no painful soul searching and I don't want my husband to stop doing thing with me. Maybe a deeper look will help.

Perhaps it is my fear of people. I know, sounds a little odd. I guess it's not so much a fear of people as what they think of me. Didn't I give that up years ago!? Didn't I come to the realization that it is ever so much easier to live when you just don't care what other people think and you go about your business the best way you know how? Of course, but that doesn't mean it stays gone forever. It kind of sneaks up on me like a little gnome and works it's way so cleverly back into my life that before I know it that little fear that I threw out of my life has perched itself right on my shoulder and taken shotgun in my journey through life. (the picture makes sense now huh.)

So where to now? It's time once again to throw the little guy out. I declare my independence once again, just more realistically. Let's face it, I like going out to eat with people and movies too. I like companionship. However, I don't have to have it all the time, especially if it puts other people out. When it is my responsibility and mine alone, who am I to drag someone else into it with me? I am a big girl and I can take care of things all by myself. So to those of you who have been the victim of an absurd need for company in doing small and simple no-company-required things. My apologies.

I will now do my best to do my duty... wait, I'm not a scout! But then again there's a lot to learn from those guys. So yes, I will do my best to do my duty to God and I suppose I better throw my country in with it. However I will add my primary presidency onto the list and my co-workers to. Don't we all have enough on our plates that the last thing we need is to have a healthy portion of 'stupid' heaped upon it? Now, does that relieve you from your duty dear reader? No. I don't want an extra portion of 'stupid' either. You can take care of your own too.

New Year Thoughts

The missionaries came over for dinner tonight. Mostly because David forgot to find people from the ward to have them over dinner, but truthfully I didn't mind one bit. It's been a long time since we've had them over and it was a nice chance to sit and remember my own mission. I won't bore you with the details since it's only really interesting to me, but I'm sure getting a replica of my head in the mail (pinata style of course) was also interesting for Sister Pratley. If she had any doubts about the sanity of me and my family up to that point it was solidified that day.

Anyway, back to the here and now, it was nice having them in our home. It has prompted me to reflect on my life right now. And since it is a time for "new beginnings" then why not! In one of my meetings a spiritual thought was given and I wrote it down. "If you are not as close to the Lord as you used to be, who moved?"

I've been thinking about that statement. I remember well the mission days when 2 hours of gospel study was the norm. Praying always was a way of life. I knew that coming home would introduce new challenges, and there really was no way that I would have realistically expected 2 hours of gospel study to continue being the norm. However, I also didn't think I would be as casual as I sometimes am when it comes to gospel study either.

I don't write this to make myself or anyone else feel guilt or remorse, but simply to take a good look. Is this where I want to be? Am I comfortable with my level of faith in God? Do I really trust him? Do I really know him? The theme for Primary this year is "I Know My Savior Lives". The instruction to Primary presidencies is as follows:

Through the witness of the Holy Ghost, the children will learn that because of the central role of Jesus Christ in our Heavenly Father's plan, they can have faith in Him. The children will also learn that their faith will grow stronger as they keep the commandments, serve, share the gospel, follow the example of the Savior, and prepare for His Second Coming.

It's the simple truths that are taught in Primary and yet I feel so inadequate. It's a good thing that this is the Lord's work and not mine. Can you just imagine the mess I would make! Sheesh!

So that is my pondering for the coming year. Sure I could make resolutions to lose weight, take up painting, go sky-diving, and any other number of things, but who's kidding who? I'm going to be lucky to make it out of this year alive! What I really want is to be closer to God so I can enjoy life more even when things don't turn out according to plan. I want peace of mind. Really that can only come one way. And with God, that might not be too much to ask for.

May the New Year bring all that you hope for and if it doesn't, at least keep a smile on your face.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!