Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Hi Honey, It's 7 o'clock, am I safe? or My Life on Drugs

I write this journal in hopes that someone will benefit from where I have been, that those who follow me may have a road map to guide their footsteps. (sounds of the rainforest in the background, mosquitoes buzzing around, me wiping the sweat off my face and nobly looking towards the future... and the sunset... and the angry natives...)

Friday April 29th:
Am able to proceed with Lupron injections.  Find myself very nervous.  Close to breaking out in a cold sweat but manage to stick myself with the needle.  Is not that bad.  In fact barely felt it. Relieved and a little shaky I go to bed wondering how I'll be in the morning.

Saturday April 30th:
Find myself semi nauseous in the morning.  More sensitive to stupid things.  Strange desire to arm-wrestle my husband into submission for the offense of waking up in the morning.  Have family coming to spend the day.  Sense a pattern developing.  Nightly injection hurt this time. And itched.

Sunday May 1st:
Definite pattern developing.  Am able to see a trend.  No time to write, have to arm-wrestle husband and find something with chocolate in it.  3rd dose didn't hurt.  Is this some kind of joke?

Monday May 2nd:
Feel it necessary to outline pattern for those who may follow in my footsteps or have an urge to visit un-announced.

6-7 am:  wake up and feel a bit nauseous but still okay

7:30 am:  doing okay until husband talks to me then have sudden urge to rip head off

7:31 am: suppress urge, put up a hand, and ask if that question/comment is really necessary

7:32 am: husband backs away slowly with soothing voice and takes question/comment back

8:00 am: husband attempts to go to work, I ignore him till he does

8:30 am: overwhelmed by hunger pangs and eat anything I can find for breakfast (or second breakfast as the case may be)

8:45 am:  day proceeds normally as long as there are no unforeseen interruptions

12:00-3:00 pm: have uncontrollable urge to cry at everything including commercials on the radio, songs that have anything to do with sentimentality or violence or that have words or instruments in them

4:00 pm: doing pretty good.  Waterworks have stopped and smile is on the face

7:00 pm:  nausea returns and irritation at everything comes in full force.  Husband walks on egg shells, sometimes ignoring me for his own safety.  But then again ignoring me causes further irritation and irrational thinking and might not be that safe either

7:30 pm: large dose of chocolate is consumed

7:32 pm:  feeling better but watch your step

9:00 pm:  life is good and rational conversation is possible

9:30 pm: another dose of chocolate for own safety

10:00 pm: take another shot and go to bed

Okay, seriously though.  It's kind of interesting how it follows a pattern, and I'm not really crazy all the time.  But it is a little freaky how out-of-control and irritated that I feel sometimes.  I  know it's the drugs that are causing it but just see if I can do anything about it!  Man may as well put forth his arm to stop the mighty Mississippi from flowing!  It really does follow a schedule though.  So much that when 7 pm approaches I start getting out the chocolate.

I don't think this affects everyone the same way either.  I happen to be uber-sensitive to drugs.  Half the dose of Dayquil does me in.  So birth control and injections... yeah.  Can't wait till they add more!  I'm gonna have to buy chocolate in bulk!

ps. I just realized that I didn't officially say that we're okay to go forward with all of this!  David, who gets uber-brownie points in heaven, did many a phone call between doctors office and insurance and was finally able to get things straightened out.  We found out late Friday afternoon that we could go forward.  So yeah... nothing like a late update!


  1. Lora, I will bring some chocolate right over!! :) This sounds a bit like pregnancy hormones on STEROIDS or something! ... you hang in there... love ya

  2. Lora, you make me laugh so hard!!! I am so sorry that it is affecting you so bad. Just keep up the chocolate and hopefully you and David can make it through the month!

  3. I have just replenished my peanut M&M supply! And I was sitting here thinking, wow I'm a big baby if I can't handle this and every pregnant woman on the planet does. then I thought, wait a minute I'm not pregnant yet. So yeah, I'll complain a little. If all works out the way we want I'll have to tone it down. :) I'm pretty tired of hearing about it myself right now anyways.
    Thank you all for the well wishes though!

  4. So...dessert, first on Thursday?

  5. I think that might be a good idea! Don't be scared, I'm sure I'll be under control on thursday. I'll practice at home. :)

  6. I am so glad you do not have to answer the phones at work....or wait...am I???? A few well placed rants and a couple of out of control crying episodes at irritating people could make for a quiet summer??? Shame on me for plotting to use your hormonal roller coaster as a weapon in my arsenal :) Although if your game I will start to make a list :)

  7. Whatever you need my friend. Someone should really benefit from this! Here's to making lemonade out of our lemons of life!

  8. Thank you for the heads up! Adam will be lucky, because I start the Lupron THE DAY HE LEAVES for his new job.... So the question arises, who do I get to arm wrestle? Does it build up and I explode randomly? :) I'm slightly nervous :)

  9. I did have you in mind for this post! A heads up is always nice. And I'd be more than happy to give you someone to arm wrestle! But more importantly you get to start!!! Woot!

  10. I KNOW!!!! I'm VERY excited!!! :) (Did you note all the exclamation points exclaming my pure excitement?:) I really am apprehensive to start the Lupron on the 15th though.... Gulp! Can those shots be given to myself? I hope I don't have to put them on the counter and run into them or something because Adam will be MIA :)

  11. That just created the funniest picture in my mind!!! waahaaahaa! You can totally give them to yourself. In fact I haven't had David give me one yet! Right in the belly fat baby!

  12. Oh goody :) But wait! I don't have ANY belly fat, so that might create a problem :)

  13. Shari I LOVE YOU! the end.