Sometimes I wonder if I divulge to much information on here. You know, of the sort that makes people uncomfortable. When I say things like "fertility" and "eggs" and "injections" and stuff. I have actually been thinking about this for awhile. I know there are some people close to me that would feel extremely uncomfortable reading about such things and get all awkward and stuff. Sometimes I find myself in a situation when I get told something that is a little out there and I find myself having trouble finding a place to rest my eyes. (that hasn't happened in absolute ages by the way.)
And then I thought to myself "Why am I so comfortable with this?" because let's face it, I didn't used to be comfortable talking about infertility. That was something private. It was going to be a short struggle until David and I got things figured out. And then things just stretched out. And there were "procedures" and "operations" and drugs and general craziness. The months turned in to a year, the year turned into 5 and now I'm an open book. And I'm glad for it (the open book thing, not the 5 years).
I am comfortable talking about it because right now it is my life. Not all of it of course. I am perfectly capable of having conversations that have nothing to do with children. In fact sometimes I want to have a discussion that has absolutely nothing to do with fertility. Not because it's too hard, but because I'm plum warn out on that topic of conversation! There's a lot more to life right now than our "trial". And in just a few days, it should be less consuming. Because in a few days this IVF process will come to it's conclusion.
Thursday I go in for egg retrieval, Sunday or Tuesday we go in for the transfer depending on how "petri dish love" goes. And then we wait. Just like normal people do. We wait for evidence of success or failure. There's a test, a blood draw, and then we know whether we get our own biological kids or if our family really will be adopted. I am not in any way shape or form opposed to adoption, but we had to see this route through. Knowing that there are options out there that hadn't been explored... well, it would have continued to eat me up. I would have always wondered. And now we'll know.
As a side note but really related. I once wrote a post about socks. Someone anonymously commented with "too much info". They had no idea did they!
Enjoy the sunshine my friends. It's a glorious reprieve and I'm certain the rain will come again. Just not today.
Lora, I enjoy your honesty and I feel close to you knowing what you are going through... now socks, that's just TMI!!!!!! What were you thinking, I can't imagine sharing my private thoughts about socks... of all things. :)
ReplyDeleteHope all goes well for you, love ya ♥
Lora, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you share! I am sending your blog address to a neighbor friend of mine that is just starting the process. I told her how great you are and your posts are wonderful. I think that she will be able to relate to you and will need a few laughs along the way!
ReplyDeleteDebbie, I'm glad you like it! And anything to help someone just starting the process. All things considered it really wasn't that bad. the worste part was the birth control and the giving of the shots. The heavy duty ones only made me slightly more weepy, but other than that they've been a breeze!
ReplyDeleteI heart you :) People ask me questions all the time and then pause and say 'only if your comfortable sharing that'. I just chuckle since we've gotten to that 'open book' point too :) Good luck this week :) They say 17 days from egg retrieval, right? So, through the middle of June I'll be praying for you :)
ReplyDeleteWell, we know how I'm an open book. If your socks drew a TMI, I would hate for anon to make the jaunt to my blog! ;) (or maybe that should be sorry you have to witness the TMI from me?)
ReplyDeleteAnd yay for petri dish love!
I will promise that our next few topics of conversation will be: Def Leppard, how much I love Hysteria and hoarding Aquanet for August.
Oh Aquanet! I can still smell that smell! yuck! This should be so dang fun.
ReplyDeleteShari, I just love you. Really I love all of you. I have the best friends ever!
It is your blog, with your friends reading it, so no one makes anyone else read it! So I agree with what everyone else said. I like your honesty and so that is why I read your blog! Thanks for being so open with us, so those who live far away can still keep up with you! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI've said it before and I'll say it again--it's your blog, which makes it all about YOU. Everyone else can suck it. Pardon my French.
ReplyDelete