Monday, April 26, 2010

Under the Knife

In the name of all that is random and odd, I ask you dear readers, if you were to have cosmetic surgery what would it be?

I don't ask this out of vanity or an obsession with the perfect body.  I can tell you right now there will be no chest altering in the future, or liposuction for that matter.  Don't get me wrong, I would love to have a few pounds of fat just sucked out of my trouble spots, but what would that say about me? 

Perhaps I fear the judgements of man too much. I was joking about some magic way to melt away the fat in the general area of my tummy.  Believe it or not my husband would actually support me in that.  Not because he thinks I'm fat or that I need it, he's just watched as I've tried to work my behind off and it just won't go.  He would support it because he hates to see me work so hard to no avail.  What no one realizes is that no matter how hard I try to work my behind off my addicition to chocolate/sugar is the real thing that is standing in my way.... sigh.  It's just so darn good!  Some people have their coffee addiction, I have my chocolate addiction.  It could even be called my coping device.  I think another sigh is appropriate here.

Back to the topic.  No seriously body altering surgery, but I confess the prospects of laser hair removal sound marvelous to me.  And if I could choose only one spot, it would be my stupid chin!!  Seriously, what is up with that!  Women bear the children, the laundry, why do we have to deal with errant chin hairs!  And why oh why does no one prepare us for this at home.  Or perhaps I'm the only one who deals with this problem?  Hmmm.  could it be a family trait?  Either way, it totally stinks!  So if I were to change myself cosmetically it would be laser hair removal.

What would yours be?  You can tell me, this is a safe place.  (insert smiley face here)


  1. Blast-it-all! I typed this long brilliant response and then realized Sean was signed in on his account- so I logged him off and it didn't save my witty remarks. BAH.

    I hear ya on the chin whiskers- ANNOYING! So, no, I don't think it's just a weird family trait...unless perhaps we're

    As far as cosmetic changes and whatnot I'd have to choose the rack/stretcher thing and make my legs just a wee bit longer. 28 inch inseam is just so darn hard to shop for!

    But really folks, I hate pain (and self inflicted pain seems ludicrous) AND I don't much enjoy spending gobs of money on said torture--so I guess I'm just out of luck.

    PS- Game night- brilliant. Let's do it. Perhaps when the chaos of moving is at it's peak you'll need an escape. Let me know. Otherwise we can wait until things calm down a bit.

    PPS- Word verification for FIRST comment that got deleted (but I thought it was funny) "boyess"--like "your highness" used to denote royalty. ie- "Here are your fuzzy bunny slippers your boyess."

    PPPS- word verification for THIS one: "sorsterl" after a long hard workout at the gym I am "sorsterl"

    PPPPS- this comment is WAY too long. Sorry :)

  2. LOL I would totally love laser hair removal! :) In fact one of my daughters asked me the other day it if I was trying to grow a beard! Seriously not fair with how much we have to endure as women! :)

  3. Chin hair? I have NO idea what you're talking about. Ahem.

    I would love to have a mole on my cheek removed (on my face cheek). I've actually looked into, but to have it fully removed would cause a lot of scarring, and if I have it partially removed (like shaved flat--I know, ew on the visual!) there's a good chance it would grow back and sometimes they grow back bigger or darker and I just don't know if I'm ready to take that risk.


    Yeah, so maybe I'd have that laser hair removal. IF I had any hair like that to remove.

  4. I have to tell all of you I almost didn't go through with this post because who wants to admit such a thing! But I'm so glad I did because all of your comments are cracking me up! My Monday is truly better for all of your wit!

  5. I have OFTEN said that had I known, laying on that table all gutted, that Sammy would be it for us? I would have TOTALLY told them to just go ahead with the tummy tuck then and there. Seriously.

    However, if there was some sort of peel or potion to permanently remove all freckles? I would totally sign up.

    And Isaac did the laser hair removal thing. So did not take. Sigh. Just glad we didn't pay for it!

  6. I would go for the hair removal OVER MY ENTIRE BODY (except my head, eyebrows, etc. I don't want to look like an alien ;), but only if it works. I have heard that it doesn't always take (like Tawnya said)
    Can I admit I would change my nose? I have what has historically been called a "Whipple nose" (my maiden name) and you don't get names like that because they are small...... I'm a little paranoid about that one ;)

  7. Shari - I can HONESTLY say I've never particularly noticed your nose.

  8. Ok, laser hair removal doesn't count as cosmetic anything that's a big deal. It is simply a miracle that should be applied liberally wherever desired. However, all the comments about it not taking - you have to do it repeatedly and it works best if you have super white skin and super dark hair. The in-betweens can be sketchy.

    I was always against surgery of any kind, but from what I hear, I think that in the future getting a boob job just for the lift, not for size, may very well be worth the $$$. We shall see.

  9. Well, my husband WAS the ideal candidate: super white skin and black hair. We did it for however many months the treatment was for (set up by his Derm.). And, well, it still didn't take. AT ALL. Which his doctor said sometimes happens, even with the best candidates.

  10. It's kind of funny what we would change or at least what we think stick out.. Shari: would have never even dreamed of a nose issue.

    Tawyna: your Isaac story makes David re-think having it done even if we magically had money.

    JB, seriously have I told you how much I miss you! I do hear you on the boob lift though.

    And for the record I would actually like a whole chin lift thing... I have the Robbin's double chin. I kind of hate my profile.

  11. He's not sorry he tried it. Esp. since it was free. But, yeah. He was super disappointed.

  12. Thanks for the reasurance on the nose :) And right back at you on the chin thing. I have NEVER notice a profile problem.... Isn't it funny what we notice about ourselves?